The Cleaner
by Yochanan Suishoukin
Summary: Dirts and wounds are not the only thing that the fourth division cleans up. Not especially when it's the Captain who's cleaning.
1. Book Covers

**_Book Covers_**

_To judge or not to judge._

Zaraki-taichou was the most feared shinigami in Gotei-13. For Unohana Retsu, Captain of the fourth division, it meant one less probable patient, one less likely job to do, and one less person to worry about.

However, Zaraki-taichou had proven himself to be more problem than anyone else, even more than Kurotsuchi-taichou and his crazy experiments. Either he realized it or not--probably he didn't--he had given the fourth division more work than ever by sending injured shinigamis everyday. Of course, those shinigamis might have been stupid enough to engage with strong Hollows, but then again, there were several cuts on them. They could probably just be some idiots fighting with high rank shinigamis, but according to Isane, they were all from the eleventh division.

Whether she liked it or not, she had come to a conclusion that Zaraki-taichou must have a hand in this. They could be his desperate attempt in finding a strong opponent (then they would have come to her building as corpses, which they are not) or he had simply given them hard trainings.

Whatever it was, it just added up to her assumption--and nearly everyone else's--that Zaraki-taichou was a very literal description of a shinigami: he brought dead to everyone. A part of her--the part which she often scolded for being a pessimist--believed that the man simply had no room for feelings. It was proven by how fast he launched the word kill or swung his zanpaku-to. It was also the way she saw him every time they met.

On the other hand, her positive side suggested that he was once a human (when he was still alive) too, so he must have a heart somewhere inside that cold, ruthless shell. That favorable side of hers gave examples in the form of Kusajishi-fukutaichou. If she shove he earlier view aside and instead squinted a bit, she could see traces of affection--howbeit very crude and hidden--in their dysfunctional father-daughter relation.

"Taichou", Isane called, opening the door slightly.

"Hm?" The captain looked up from her current paperwork, assigning various division members to all divisions as janitors. She could tell that Isane was slightly pissed off by whatever news she brought.

"The eleventh division asks for a 'cleaner' right now", she stated irritatedly, "they said they needed to have their main building cleaned right now or Zaraki-taichou was going to be very angry."

"What did they do?" Unohana sighed, looking to her chart. No one was free of duty.

Isane's face was screwed. "They brought in some reindeers and hunted them inside the building, splotching blood everywhere right when Zaraki-taichou was about to begin training."

Unohana face palmed. To think that she had just started to see the psycopath's bright side...but letting his subordinates hunting some poor animal inside their own building?

"And no one is free of duty today", Isane huffed. She was going to be the janitor, she knew it.

The captain sighed. She slowly stood. "Come on, Isane."

"Yes, Taichou", the vice captain grumbled.

Unohana ignored her tone. She grimaced inwardly. At first glance, the fourth division seemed important. They were the only medicals in the whole Gotei-13. They should have been important that way. And they were, **if **there were that many injured shinigamis in a day.

Unfortunately, the fourth division was important to the others, because they were the only janitors ever available and employed.

"Isane?"

"Yes?"

"Never judge a book by its cover."

"Yes...why? What does it have to do with this?"

"Everything."


	2. Height

_**Height**_

_Of maturity and size._

Size barely matter in Gotei-13. Unohana knew and respected that some people who were considerably small were actually those who had an army of shinigamis under them.

It was more of a matter of wasting time rather than something important that Unohana could note how short Hitsugaya-taichou was. She couldn't blame him. He was the youngest--and the shortest--shinigami ever admitted as a captain. Shunsui-taichou had once joked if he could even reach puberty, at which Hitsugaya-taichou glared and ignored. And yet, he continued to be one of the most respected shinigamis in Gotei-13.

With Hitsugaya-taichou, it didn't really matter how small he was appearance wise. He was a wise captain with maturity that was a bit inappropriate to his size--and perhaps age--but was enough for him to be a captain. He was also as strong as the captains twice his height. The last time he and Ichimaru-taichou sparred--or were they trying to kill each other?--they both had ended up in her infirmary for days. Of course, sometimes Hitsugaya-taichou showed his child-like attitude when he asked her why Rangiku-san had had a weird thing on her front.

Soi-taichou was only half a head taller than Hitsugaya-taichou. Like him, it was no matter that anyone could press on. Soi-taichou could slice anyone calling her 'shorty' a few milliseconds after they said that. Anyway, she had proven herself to be more than capable of managing taller--albeit weaker--shinigamis. Unohana actually knew that her height was one of the factor that granted her the speed second only to Yoruichi.

Hinamori-fukutaichou could be doubted sometimes, what with her kindness and young age. Unohana herself admitted guilt of thinking that she had been a lucky hero-worshipping girl who managed to be a vice captain because Aizen-taichou was always there for her. She had to change her view and realized that it was no matter of age when she had witnessed her fighting many Hollows. After all, she couldn't get the position of vice captain in a young age without actually proving that she could.

But Kusajishi-fukutaichou...

"How did that happen, Madarame-san?"

"How should I know? One minute I was talking to Yumichika, the next minute she was sinking her teeth into my head!"

"I see. Had you used anything attractive to girls her age on your head?"

"No way. Those are for pansies...and Yumichika and Ukitake-taichou. Anyway, I used nothing! She thought I was a gigantic mantou or something..."

"Mantou?"

"Or maybe a candy."

Unohana stroke his shiny bald head to make sure that the medicine had been applied correctly. At least now Madarame-san didn't look as though someone was trying to lobotomize him.

"It's done. Shouldn't you tell Zaraki-taichou?"

Ikkaku snorted. "Yeah, right. He even told her not to do things half-heartedly, in other words he told her to sink her hungry teeth even deeper!"

The fourth division captain grimaced. "Oh, my..."

"Uh, huh. I think he's raising a second Zaraki Kenpachi or something...wait...that's creepy."

Unohana thought for a second. She went to her shelf and took one bottle, placing it in front of Madarame.

"Use this on your head everyday you thought she would jump on your head."

Ikkaku examined the bottle. Vaseline...? Oh, I see. Give her the bad taste, eh? I'll use it everyday then. Thank you, Unohana-taichou."

When Ikkaku left, Unohana couldn't help but remember that there were always exceptions everywhere. While the three aforementioned high ranked shinigamis could show their aptness in having that rank, sometimes she wondered if anyone had made the right choice when Kusajishi-fukutaichou had been appointed as a vice captain. Kusajishi-fukutaichou showed consistency in having a small child-like body and childishness.

Well, at least someone was enjoying their childhood.


	3. Trash Can

_**Trash Can**_

_Where the real treatment is._

They were doing paperwork again. Assigning cleaners and healers and whatnot. She knew a captain at some points in their work must face all these papers. She just wished it wasn't mainly about cleaning duty. It was at times like this when Unohana wished there were more patients looking for her. At least when that happened, she could really do what she did best, healing.

In her own desk, Isane was mumbling and grumbling under her breath. It was occasional, but when they had been locked up in a room for hours and Unohana had ignored it for a long time she just had to ask.

"Is something the matter, Isane?" The vice captain in question raised her head sheepishly.

"Nothing...at least nothing big, taichou. I was just bored and-er-a bit irritated, that's all." She huffed loudly. "I mean, we're healers, for goodness sake! Not cleaners! At least I had thought so when I joined the school of shinigami. I had thought that since I couldn't fight, I could at least be a useful healer." She blinked. "I'm rambling, aren't I?"

Unohana gracefully shook her head. "Nonsense. After all these hours, Isane, I'm actually wondering why you had kept quiet."

Isane scratched her head tiredly. "I guess I'm just too engrossed with my work. Ah! Sorry, taichou, for interrupting!"

"Not at all. I was looking forward a talk anyway. That would really help both of us."

"Really? How or why?"

"Isane, two sane people couldn't possibly be cooped up in the same room doing the same work and yet didn't interact at all."

"Right then." Isane pondered. "Then can we take a break now?"

Unohana smiled. "No, Isane, unless you want to work overtime."

"Of course not."

Silence passed between them, filled only with scratching noises.

"Taichou? Where is everyone? It's so quiet today."

"Today is Sunday, Isane."

"...Sunday...?"

"Grand cleaning day. Everyone's out for work."

Isane pursed her lips. "Sorry for my absentmindedness."

"It is but normal, Isane."

Silence fell again.

"Taichou?"

"Yes, Isane?"

"I was wondering...if I'm not intruding anything...but how do you always get the high-ranked patients?"

"Pardon?" Unohana removed the paper in front of her. A tall stack was still waiting for her, but she decided she could use a break.

"Well, I mean, they are not even badly injured or anything. But they always look for you anyway."

"I...don't know. Does it matter?"

"Not really...it's just a bit odd. Oh, is it because you are you?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"You are the gentle, motherly Unohana-taichou of the fourth division. Maybe they just want to share their secrets with you."

"No, Isane", Unohana smiled at that comment, "As gratifying as your compliment was, I don't think that's the main reason." She took a paper and began reading.

"Then what?" Isane had forgotten the paper in front of her.

Unohana hesitantly replied, "They are captains and vice captains, Isane."

"So? So are us."

"Yes, but they tend to have...ah...big pride."

Isane smirked. "So they are embarrassed by whatever the problems they have and come to you because you're not a gossiper?"

"I guess that is the blunt way of saying it."

The vice captain stretched. "It sure will be nice if they burst in right now."

"It is not a form of entertainment, Isane."

"But I'm bored."

There was a knock on the door. They looked expectantly at the opening door.

"Unohana-taichou", said the small figure, "I need to see you."

Silence. No one moved a muscle. The voice said menacingly, "Kotetsu-fukutaichou, if you'd please?"

Isane grumbled breathily, almost inaudibly. She shuffled through the other door.

Unohana stood up. She welcomed her guest. "What seems to be the problem, Hitsugaya-taichou?"

"I am wondering if there is any way to get rid of Matsumoto's protruding front. It seems to be a problem of some sort. Does she catch a disease or anything?"

Unohana looked behind her shoulder. The other door was shut tightly. She sighed.

"That, Hitsugaya-taichou, is a question I need to explain. You see..."


	4. Substitute

_**Substitute**_

_Hard choices and solutions._

"If it hadn't been for you, I probably would have killed that Hollow in a move, booger-face!"

"What? I was already a step from killing it, stupid ape!"

"Ehh...guys..."

"Whaddaya mean? I was there first! Then you just have to copy me and interrupt, stupid!"

"You're stupid! And cheap! Taichou had already told you to stay away until further notice!"

"You know..."

"And that's why you're stupid! You copied me! Do you think Taichou would pick someone as stupid as you?"

"Oh, shut up! I don't think he will pick someone who ignores his orders with lame and cheap excuses!"

"Excuse me!"

"Pffftt...Yeah, right, as if you really had the chance."

"Oh, yes I do. A lot more than you."

"Kotsubaki! Kiyone! Please! Listen!" Isane screamed.

The two bickering third seats immediately abandoned their banter. They averted their attention to Isane with a look that seemed to dare her to stop them again. The target of such attack was not perturbed the slightest.

"Now, you two are in the fourth division's infirmary so please", Isane raised her voice, "do as I say!"

"Well he started it!" Kiyone pointed to Sentarou, who quickly slapped the finger away.

"Shaddup! You began the fight in the first place!"

"Did not!"

"Did too! Who interrupted me back then? You!"

"This is the thanks I get for saving your butt?"

"What saving? You endangered it, ape girl!"

"You two!" Isane screamed again, losing all of her patience.

The door opened, revealing Unohana as she stepped in.

"Is something wrong, Isane? I thought I heard your voice from outside of the infirmary."

"Y-Yes, Taichou", Isane apologized, throwing a dirty look to the third seats, who were avoiding each other's eyes, "I had to calm these two down somehow."

"Is that so? I take it that they have already recovered, then?" Unohana carefully surveyed them.

"Yes!" Sentarou blurted. "I have fully recover--Ow!" Kiyone punched him right at the bandaged spot, opening the wound again.

"No he hasn't! I have!" Too excited, her wound too was opened again. "Ouch!"

"Haha! You deserved that!" Sentarou laughed, causing the wound to open wider.

"You deserved that more than I do!" Kiyone, on the other hand, lowered her voice.

Isane threw an exasparated look at Unohana. The captain just sighed.

"Kotsubaki-san. Kiyone-san. As Isane has told you earlier", she spoke calmly, although the two got the feeling that they shouldn't mess with this one, "this is the fourth division main infirmary. As such, as long as you are inside this building, you are my responsibility, so if you can please cooperate with us", they slowly nodded, "thank you."

She turned to her vice captain. "Treat to their wounds separately. I'm going to talk to Ukitake-taichou."

"Ah! Taichou is here? I mustn't let him see me like this!" Sentarou shouted. The sisters glared at him.

"That's cheap--"

"Please! Enough! Yamada!"

"H-Hai!" Hanatarou, who had been eavesdropping, embarrassedly came into the room.

"Take Kotsubaki-san to another room. While I", she glared at her sister, "have some sister bonding to do."

Unohana nodded. "I leave them in your hands."

As soon as she was outside, Unohana just had to shake her head. As she did so, she noticed Ukitake pacing up and down the corridor.

"Unohana-taichou! How are they?" He wasted no time in asking her as he noticed her around.

"Judging from the noise, they are fine. However, they still need a few days in our care just in case anything goes wrong."

Ukitake exhaled dramatically. "Thank goodness. When I saw the both of them rushing at the Hollow I knew it was going to end this way. Oh, and sorry about all the noise they cause."

"Not at all, Ukitake-taichou", she said warmly, "Zaraki-taichou's men have been more troublesome, and so we are prepared for this kind of behavior."

"But still", Ukitake shook his head, "rushing to a Hollow head first, then bickering in front of it, causing themselves to get injured..."

"Ukitake-taichou, why haven't you picked a vice captain yet?" Unohana said slowly.

Ukitake smiled grimly. "Because that won't solve the problem. You see, they've been like this ever since Kaien passed away. If I pick one of them as his replacement, who knows...I might have another subordinate dying."

"I see. Then maybe you should pick an outsider? Forgive me if I'm intruding, but I think they are fighting for that position."

"Yes, yes. That's why I've been torn lately. If I pick anyone as a vice captain, they will most likely bite at that person's head. If I pick one of them, then they will beat each other to pulp. If I don't pick anyone at all, like now, then they're fighting for it. You see", Ukitake coughed, "it's a lose/lose situation for any of us."

"Forgive me for bringing that up." Unohana bowed her head.

"Ah, don't worry about it. Actually, I should be the one apologizing to everyone to make them so worried", Ukitake said sadly.

"Everyone?"

"Kyouraku had expressed this many, many times before. Even Soi-taichou had snidely remarked about it when we last met."

"You are doing the right thing, Ukitake-taichou", Unohana said soothingly, "I think that is especially why such banters exist."

"Really?"

"Yes. Your strength lies in your wisdom and kindness. No wonder they would fight for the closest position to you."

"Ahh...thank you very much, Unohana-taichou."

"Not at all."

"Stupid head! Now thanks to you, the captain will be mad at us!"

"Oy! I didn't begin yelling in the first place! He'll surely be mad at you!"

"You guys! I will kick you out if this continues!"

Ukitake sighed heavily. "Oh, brother."


	5. Voices

_**Voices**_

_Why seeing is believing._

_EDIT : Since everyone is confused here is the edited version. Hopefully it clears things up._

"Oh, my, what a shout", one of the shinigamis in the infirmary remarked.

"Pfft. Are you kidding? That's more like the wails from Hell", another one replied.

"Still, it sounds awfully familiar", Hanatarou pondered, stopping from his cleaning duty.

"You three! Get back to work!" Iemura barked, jolting all the shinigamis chatting. "If I catch another sound of anything from anyone--"

He was cut by the very same voice, shouting a series of machine-gun-like curses.

Iemura's face hardened.

Hanatarou snapped his fingers, realization dawning on him. "Say, isn't that--"

"Iemura!" Isane interjected, rushing to the third seat's side that was between dreading and thanking her arrival.

"Yes, fukutaichou?"

"Have you seen taichou anywhere?"

Iemura chose dread. "I haven't **seen **her", he replied through closed lips. Along with the stress and the body language, Isane should have known what he meant.

"Oh, you haven't? Then what should we do?" Isane asked worriedly. Iemura mentally slapped his forehead. He settled for grabbing her arm and dragging her out.

"Look, do you really know what's going on?" He whispered furiously.

"I **know**. Why else do you think I'd be looking for her?" Isane whispered incredulously. She thought for a moment. "Iemura, go and tell everyone in our division to shut up, I'll go look for her."

"That might not be necessary, fukutaichou", Iemura droned agitatedly, "I'm afraid this kind of noise may have very well reached every divisions."

"I know", Isane rubbed her temples, "but just in case."

"Let's just go look for her. Didn't she tell you where she's going?"

"You know taichou. Unless it's important, she's going anywhere she pleases without telling anyone."

Iemura sighed. He faintly wished he could be like that voice.

--------------

"That is disturbing."

"I've told you I'm no good at this kind of thing", Renji grumbled, glaring at Byakuya's shogi pieces that was on the verge of beating him.

"I am talking about that yelling voice, Renji", Byakuya said calmly, looking out of the window.

"Oh, that. Well, that's usual, isn't it? I mean, you know how the eleventh division is", Renji said distractedly, glancing from Byakuya to the shogi board and back again. His hands twitched.

"Although there have been some extreme cases in which the eleventh division could yell that loud", Byakuya droned, "It is the voice that is disturbing."

"Hmm?" Renji hummed. "It's not like there aren't any women shinigamis in there, is it?" Renji took one last glance at his captain. He was still staring out of the window. Taking a gulp of determination, Renji grabbed the shogi board quietly.

"No, Renji", the monotonous voice was dripping with the slightest of annoyance, "It doesn't belong to any of them. On the contrary, it is the voice I never thought would have said such things."

"Oh, yeah, right", the red head said innocently, "It sounds just like--"He paused, having just had an invisible hammer knocked on his brain. "Wait a minute. Why would--?"

"In any case, it is not our problems to begin with." Byakuya redirected his gaze to the shogi board. He frowned slightly at it. Renji fidgeted.

"...Do you actually want to win that much?"

"Ehh..." Renji simpered, "No, taichou, no. The board was--eh--weird so I checked on it, and I forgot to place it on the correct direction."

"...I was not talking about your action of switching the board."

"Oops. My bad."

--------------

"Nice one. Did you hear that, taichou?"

"Even if I didn't, it was not of our importance", Soi Fong scowled, "so stop trying to find reasons to have a break."

Ohmaeda foolishly picked his nose. "I ain't finding reasons. I 'm just saying that it's so rare to hear. Don't you think that there's anything wrong?"

"Although it is disturbing that a noise could be heard even from here, it is tolerable. After hundreds of years, such things are predictable."

"Yeah, but don't you always say that it disturbs the morale or whatsits?" Ohmaeda persisted, laying off his paperwork for a long time.

Soi Fong glared at him. "It doesn't matter. It doesn't violate any of the codes. But it will matter", her tone was gradually threatening,"If it becomes your excuse for getting away."

Even as Ohmaeda lazily returned to his work, and she did the same herself, she couldn't help but wondered what could cause that very unusual break out.

-----------

"Hitsugaya, please, I'm fine", Hinamori uttered loudly, "You don't need to treat me like a sick person all of the time."

"It's Hitsugaya-taichou", the captain drawled, "and you **are** recently recovered. You shouldn't be doing--"

"If I say that I'm fine", she cut him impatiently, "then I am! Who do you think own this body?"

Hitsugaya cocked one eyebrow. "Is that even the proper way to talk to a captain?"

"Whatever, Shiro-**chan**", Hinamori seethed, she knew it would tick him off, "but I am the vice captain of the five division. As of our current condition, I'm in charge of it."

As predicted, Hitsugaya scowled. "If you insist--"

He was cut off by the voice.

"That's...the most atrocious remark I've ever heard from the fourth division", Hinamori commented.

"Indeed", Hitsugaya frowned, "And I thought they were the most disciplined in the terms of attitude."

"Yeah, I thought so too."

A pause.

"But you still need to get out of my office, Shiro-chan."

"Will you stop calling me that!"

-----------

Overall, it was just a common regular captains' meeting. The uncommon thing about that day's was that some of the captains glanced discreetly at Unohana instead of gazing into spaces or the person currently speaking. Apparently, nearly everyone but Ukitake--and Unohana herself--knew exactly what that was all about.

"Before concluding today's meeting", Yamamoto said,"I'd like to say a few things about yesterday's...ah...events."

"Did anything unusual happen yesterday?" Ukitake asked apprehensively. Once again, he missed the latest news because of taking a rest.

"Oh, that one", Kyoraku smirked to Unohana.

"I beg your pardon?" Unohana asked politely, oblivious to Kyoraku's playful tone.

"Yesterday a woman was expressing herself blatantly", Komamura supplied, "do you know who that is?"

Unohana was inclined to say 'no', but their knowing glances made her think twice about it.

"Give her a break", Zaraki rolled his eyes, "my division says them all of the time and nobody cares."

Unohana connected her division's odd behavior with the blunt hints. A very odd thought came out as the result.

"You don't think--" She stopped.

"Why $$ should I care, you #$$#!"

Everyone quickly cast accusing glances at Unohana, who had her mouth closed.

"That's the rule, that's why!"

"#$&#$ rules! I am #$#$ free! Why can't I go to wherever I #$$$!# please!"

Ukitake, still not grasping the whole point, looked at the source of that voice and Unohana in turns. Everyone else did the same, and various expressions showed up.

"You #$#&#$ control freak! Shut #$#$$ up, will ya!"

"No, you shut up, lady! You can't just stroll into places and yelling trashes like that, Sugimura! First you just barged into the fourth division yelling craps, and now the first division!"

In front of the open door, they saw a shinigami, the source of all the ruckus named Sugimura, was being dragged away. She still shouted out the curses along the way. The voice was gone when a frustrated shinigami used a silencing kidou on her.

"Well", Ukitake uttered, stunned, "She sounds just like Unohana-taichou with Zaraki-taichou's choice of words."

"Indeed", Unohana said calmly.

"I thought..." Kyoraku blurted.

"Who would have thought?" Hitsugaya murmured.

It was silence yet again.

Then Soi Fong cleared her throat. "Soutaichou?"

"We shall conclude this meeting."

While he was doing so, now nearly everyone was gazing at anywhere but at Unohana. She tried her best to hide her amusement. Ukitake tried his best not to laugh at anyone.

_A/N: Fill out those unreadable characters with any swear words you wish, I don't care._

_And also thank you to all the readers and reviewers. _

_No, I'm far from being a doctor. Unohana isn't even my favorite character. But this story exists anyway because : 1. I don't want to make just any drabble. I want it to be special, for example seen through someone's particular perspective 2. the fourth division is the medical and janitor team 3. those two occupations can collect the most stories and secrets. But then, I thought that not everyone in the fourth division could get the best informations (especially concerning the captains and vice captains, since they are the main casts--and the characters we love--of Bleach anyway). So I settled for the captain and the events around her. I'm glad you--the readers--like it, or not._


	6. IQ

_**IQ**_

_If brains matter at all._

"Don't you see it, taichou? It's great! It will be! Once I finish it, it will be the grand masterpiece in the name of science!"

"Is that so?"

"Yes! I really wonder why no one in Soul Society has tried this before, and now I'll be the first one! I just need your permission, and it's all good to go!"

"I see. My permission?"

"Yes, taichou! So that I can get all the data I need!"

"I see...very well, you have my permission. Should anyone try to impede you in your research, tell them that Unohana-taichou has given the word."

'Thank you, taichou! Very much thank you!"

And the new member of the fourth division rushed out. Isane giggled slightly, and Iemura--who was annoyed greatly by the newbie's interruption and silliness--lifted his chin in a dignified manner.

"Why did you give him the permission, taichou?" He grumbled.

"He seems so enthusiastic", Unohana said with a smile, "I would not dare to crush a young man's hopes."

"It's pointless, taichou", Iemura insisted, "Everyone knows how the eleventh division always gets the lowest shinigami entry exam score. We don't need a research to point that out."

"Iemura, please do not judge a book by its cover", Unohana scolded gently; "This paper he was so interested in, I was hoping it could straightened some biased opinions towards certain divisions."

"Or just proving that they were alright all along", Isane muttered. Iemura gave her a discreet grin.

"Regardless", Unohana uttered, "We all know how much the fourth division is always regarded as the weakest and the most useless ("Yeah, right. Wait until they are all laying on their beds begging for us", Iemura murmured.) division in Gotei 13. Perhaps this project can help us."

"It doesn't change the fact", Iemura scoffed, "that he is just a sore loser who regrets dying too much he wants to continue his work before he was a shinigami in the realm of the dead. It's just too much."

"Or maybe someone's just jealous", Isane said nonchalantly.

"I am not!" Iemura snapped. "MY primary concern is about how we can improve our work by studying how to interact with those divisions better, instead of calculating how much their brains would have weighted in figures!"

"Iemura, Isane", Unohana stressed, "I have given the word. We shall not discuss this matter outside of this office, unless the person requires so."

"Don't blame me if I'm concerned about how long he will live after publishing that", Iemura muttered before exiting Unohana's office.

-------------------

Unohana said nothing, not to the papers in her hands or to the very eager writer in front of her.

"So, what do you think taichou?" He asked apprehensively, "Did I miss something? Is the data not enough? Did I conclude wrong?"

Unohana still said nothing. "It's...perfect."

His face darkened. "Oh...I see..."

She caught the signs. "Oh, no, not in that way. It's really perfect. There isn't anything that is left out or any wrong calculations. Congratulations, you have just--is that the current phrase?--cut the grade?"

"Something like that, taichou", he said gleefully. He was bouncing up and down the balls of his feet, and it took all of Isane's will not to giggle out loud.

"I will keep it for now." Unohana carefully placed the papers in one of her shelves.

"But you will publish it, won't you, taichou?" He asked worriedly.

"I will", Unohana replied calmly, "But not now. I still have a lot of work to do."

"Uhmm..." The shinigami fidgeted.

"Do not worry", Unohana smiled, "I will make sure that your work will not be wasted. Now, don't you have a work to do?"

For Iemura was standing in front of the door, glaring as fiercely as ever at the ex-psychologist.

"Ah, yes! Excuse me! Thank you again!" He rushed out, still looking as though he was going to jump.

Iemura clicked his tongue impatiently, even more so at the giggling Isane.

"He is so childish!"

"Indeed", Iemura gravely remarked. "What did he wrote, taichou?"

"You may see for yourself as long as it doesn't leave this office", Unohana waved at the shelf.

Iemura took it, read the first page with disgust and quickly flipped to the end of the paper, at which he scowled and sneered. Isane, who was peering from behind, also did the same. Unohana wasn't even observing them.

"I was right", Iemura said after ten minutes, "This only goes so far as to prove the general stereotype."

"Definitely", Isane agreed, "The eleventh division always gets the lowest scores, some of our subordinates get the best scores...and the rest is a random pattern."

"A complete waste of time and paper", Iemura concluded. He pondered. "He'd be dead by the day of its publishment."

"He won't. It won't be published."

"It won't?" Isane remarked, surprised. "But you promised him!"

"I didn't promise him that no one could harm his work", Unohana smirked, "Besides, I would hate to see my subordinate dying for such a simple matter."

It took Isane three seconds to come up with an argument. "Then it will be wasted."

"Do you remember what the fourth division is for? We save lives. There is no point in endangering one."

"Anyway, do you think they really need to know about this?" Iemura said, waving the papers. It slipped through his fingers and ended up in the trash bin.

Isane glared at him.

He shrugged. "It was not on purpose."

"Then why did you give him in the permission in the first place?" Isane continued.

"He seems to regret his death so much. I want to at least ease that burden. Do not worry, Isane. He will soon forget about it. Much like we all do."

Iemura nodded feverishly.

"Iemura, assign that boy in the archive department", Unohana ordered.

"Right away." Iemura walked out, slightly brighter than when he had entered.

"Isane, please don't think about it", Unohana said.

"No...I wasn't thinking about that boy. Actually, I'm wondering why all the eleventh division members get the lowest score", the vice captain mused.

"Don't forget they are also the strongest members of Gotei 13", Unohana reminded.

"In other words brawls are traded for brains?" Isane cracked.

"Though I can't deny that in this case", Unohana smiled wryly, "I must say that prejudicement is dangerous."

"I know, I know."

The next day, the papers were all burned out like every other garbage by the very innocent writer, who didn't know anything about it and was ordered by Iemura to burn Unohana-taichou's garbage.


End file.
